Just Stop It!
I rushed home from work, having received the magical Amazon notification that the shiny new thing had been delivered to my front door. Sure enough, said shiny new thing was leaning against said front door, encased within the brown box featuring the blue writing and smiling arrow/phallic-symbol thing.
After whisking that glorious package inside and placing it reverently on the counter, I carefully sliced the tape and folded the four cardboard corners back. There it was, nestled within a few of those plastic pillow things. This was the result of countless hours of scrolling and shiny-new-thing-comparisons. Each one was placed into my cart and back out again numerous times before that thrilling moment when―at 12:45 a.m.―I finally clicked on place order to complete my perilous purchasing journey and send the shiny new thing on its way to my humble abode. And now it was here, for real.
Then it happened.
What am I doing?
Do I really need this shiny new thing, or do I only want it?
Ugh, why am I wasting money on this, when I have stuff I actually need to buy?
I already have a lot of (formerly) shiny new things, why am I getting another one?
Will I even use this enough to justify owning it?
Yeah, I should just return it.
Buyer’s remorse. It’s a real condition afflicting many of us in this retail reality. Yes, I realize it’s also a first-world problem, but since we’re in that first world, it’s worth exploring further. I can almost hear you sighing and see you nodding along. Well, I’m here for you, my friends. Go ahead and unburden yourself with your own buyer’s remorse stories in the comments section below. I’ll list a few of mine here to get you started, and to also let you know you are far from being alone. Feel free to share away. We’ll get through this thing together!
The impulse decision to add a fancy new gaming console to my cart full of actual necessities, all destined for my new condo after I’d ended a relationship in another life.
It felt empowering at the time, but I went back to Walmart the next day and returned it.
Buying multiple versions of the same item, so I could choose the best one and return the others.
Then returning all of them.
That red, 1969 Ford dump truck I bought, justifying the purchase as a way to earn extra money by doing work for other folks.
A year later, after it sat mostly unused in our driveway, I sold it.
Scrolling Facebook Marketplace late at night and making plans to go check out a slightly-used shiny thing the following day.
Messaging the seller the next morning to cancel. What was I thinking?!
Only buying items with a free return policy, in case I make the wrong decision.
And always ensuring the seller offers free shipping.
Then there was that big Lego set…oh, right. I never did regret that purchase 😊
Perusing store fronts at a casino with my friend Don V―who was unsuccessfully battling cancer―and he wanted to use loyalty points he’d built up to buy me a cool Red Sox jacket I expressed interest in. I refused, since the purchase seemed so frivolous to me. It would not have cost him a dime of real money, and I still refused! He died the following year, and I’ve regretted that decision many times, thinking how happy it would have made him to see me happy.
I’ve thought of that last example often, anytime I catch myself fretting over whether or not to buy an item, even for a few dollars. We’re here for a short time, so as long as the purchase we’re contemplating doesn’t cause us to take out a second mortgage, why not buy those concert tickets, that cool leather jacket, or the good champagne? We need to responsibly live for today, if that makes sense. Treat yourself or others to a little something-something once in a while and don’t feel guilty about it!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go play with my shiny new thing. It is pretty amazing!
Oh, and while you’re perusing your own version of happiness, whether in-person or online, remember: whatever you are, be a good one, with no regrets!
-Dave
