Love every season?
Hello, friends. Like me, I’m sure you’ve read/heard the saying: Find something to be thankful for in every season. Also like me, you might live in New England, where it’s fairly easy to adhere to that saying in 3 out of our 4 seasons, or, to put it like a hokey TV commercial: “3 out of 4 seasons agree, winter sucks!”
Even though winter can feel longer than the other seasons, it lasts 3 months, just like all the April shower/pool party/pumpkin spice 3-month periods throughout the year. And winter does have the joy of the Christmas love-in period, but after that, it stretches on and on.
Maybe it’s due to having like, a whole four hours of sunlight each day?
Perhaps the perceived lengthiness stems from being stuck inside, breathing each other’s CO₂ while watching The Shining and sharpening our wood-splitting axe (IYKYK).
Or, it could also be the bone-chilling cold/snow shoveling/snow plowing/snow blowing/windshield scraping/slipping and falling on the icy driveway thing also. I mean, what do you folks in warmer climes do with all your spare time from December through March, anyway?
Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got your buddy Dave here to cast some hopeful light upon our most dismal season. Check out these amazing reasons to feel thankful for winter:
1. No mosquitos, black flies, deer flies, horse flies, or ticks!
a) That’s right. Those little Effers go right back to hell where they belong for a few months.
2. Also, no lawn mowing, no flower bed weeding, no pool maintenance, and lower electric bills, without all that pesky air conditioning going on.
3. The quiet serenity.
a) Don’t you just love the majestic peace and quiet after a fresh snowfall has blanketed the ground? It’s like the natural world takes a break and leaves us in reflective awe. Think of Norman Rockwell and Ansel Adams getting together to create the perfect, picturesque scene.
1. Okay, so the quiet is due to a bunch of downed tree branches killing the electric grid, so you can’t even watch the aforementioned Stephen King horror classic, and all the birds foolish enough (yeah, I’m looking at you, chickadees!) to stick around in our frozen paradise can’t even chirp, since they’re hunkered down in a spruce tree somewhere and cursing their goldfinch cousins, who flew south in September and are now texting selfies of their crew on a warm beach, holding those little frozen fruity drinks with umbrellas. Oh, and the wonderful quiet is occasionally broken by the town snow plow operator making yet another pass down your road, creating a hearty snowbank at the foot of your driveway, and blocking you from any hope of egress until April (all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy…).
Where was I? Oh, yeah, the beauty of friggin’ winter.
4. Ice skating with the kids.
a) Sure, you can go to a public rink most any time of the year and strap on the old razor-bladed boots, but there’s something special about skating on a frozen pond or lake, you know? Such as:
1. Shoveling snow from said sheet of ice before you can lace ‘em up...every single freaking time it snows, ‘cause God forbid you have bumpy ice for your precious children to complain about.
2. Praying to your preferred deity that the ice holds you and your crazy hockey-loving brood, without cracking open and swallowing you whole.
3. Carrying said brood inside, after they become too tired to walk by themselves, laden with soggy ski suits/socks/hats/gloves/scarves after falling on the ice repeatedly, then making snow angels when they got bored of skating after a few minutes.
4. Then, making snacks and hot cocoa (“what, no little marshmallows? Daa-aad!”) for the little urchins, who abandon you as soon as the plates and cups are licked clean, so they can go watch Frozen 1 and 2 for the humpteenth time.
5. Scooping up piles of wet outerwear and doing laundry the rest of the day.
5. Ice fishing.
a. I’m told this traditional activity can be enjoyable, but I have PTSD from the one time I went in the early seventies, when I slept over my friend Ricky’s house, and I resolved to never revisit this special brand of torture.
b. Okay, since you didn’t ask, here are some highlights from that fateful day:
1. Being woken at three in the morning.
2. Bundling up in my ill-fitting snowsuit, handed down from one of my brothers.
3. Piling into the old International Scout, which was only slightly colder than the air outside.
4. Stopping at a bait store to pick up a bucket of stinky minnows.
5. Piling back into the mobile freezer to complete our journey.
6. Hauling way too much heavy gear onto the frozen slab of lake.
7. Chopping ice with a heavy iron pole until my arms died, along with my soul.
8. Standing around all day, buffeted by 40 MPH winds, and not catching a single fish.
9. Retracing the painful steps from frozen tundra to frozen Scout.
10. Returning to civilization with severe frostbite and a new resolve.
I do acknowledge that there are some enjoyable outdoor activities, like skiing and snowmobiling, but as for me, I actually look forward to my time indoors, and not just for sharpening my axe.
a) I enjoy some recliner time, reading a good book while sipping coffee and perhaps having a bite of chocolate.
b) Catching up on movies and shows with my Jeannie-Girl and our loving rescue dog, Kimmie.
c) Building the Lego sets I received during the Christmas love-in period.
d) Creating new stories and worlds for you to get lost in while you recline with your own hot beverage and escape the day-to-day, if only for a moment. I hope I have been, and will continue to be, successful in that endeavor.
Okay, so that’s all the time we have left today―which is ironically what my therapist says each week in the winter when, much like a robin in the spring, I return to see him―so I will leave you with one more reason to be thankful for winter:
It’s gotta end sometime, right? Please tell me I’m right!
Thanks for tuning in for my weekly blog. If you have enjoyed it, even a little, I’d sure appreciate it if you’d drag your friends into this mania also. Misery loves company, after all 😊
Oh, and whatever you are, be a good one!
-Dave
